This is for all you cool cats who bummed smokes from your Old Man’s slug bug. For all you foxy mamas who remember going steady with that dreamy upperclassman who liked to cruise down the main drag. You may have grown up a long time ago, but baby you’re a fine wine, and you just keep getting better with age. Here’s the skinny on what it’s like to do Vegas in your 50s, 60s, and 70s.
In your 50s: To feel like the young and vibrant person you are. You recently got your AARP card in the mail and it felt like a kick in the gut… until you realized how many crazy awesome discounts you were about to get. Cha-ching. Now you’re taking all the money you’ve saved to Vegas because it’s the perfect place to get into just the right amount of trouble without anyone recognizing you’re a respectable member of society.
In your 60s: To put yourself in the most hilarious and questionable scenarios that will make your kids cringe. You don’t take yourself too seriously and feel sorry for people who do. Life is tough, and nobody gets out alive — so it’s time to kick back and laugh it up. First things first, post a selfie with that go-go dancer on the bar and tell her you’ve still got your hot pants stashed in the garage.
In your 70s: To see how Vegas will still blow your mind after all these years, as conveniently as possible. People don’t know the meaning of the good old days like you do. You’ve seen Vegas change a hundred times and yet you just keep coming back for more. You’ve seen old hotels get torn down or spruced up, and you’ve been to shows with history’s most legendary performers. Now, it’s all about finding the sweet spot in everything you do.
Where to Sleep
In your 50s: You want to be close to the action, but far enough away that you can escape if you need a break. Atmosphere is important to you and you can appreciate a little extra attention to detail. Bonus points if the place has nice amenities thrown in. Give yourself a little extra elbow room by spreading out in one of spacious and well-appointed rooms at the Venetian or MGM Grand.
In your 60s: You’re over that fancy schmancy stage in your life. You have no use for a bidet and you have no idea why the hell you need a remote to open the curtains that are five feet from your bed. You’re not worried about dress codes, because you only brought flip flops. You’ll fit right in downtown at the Golden Nugget, Main Street Station and the California Hotel.
In your 70s: It’s all about convenience for you these days, so finding a hotel with lots to do in one place is key. If you’ve stayed in the Flamingo before, it may be fun for you to see how it’s changed over the years. Then again, your patience probably ain’t what it used to be, so you may fight the urge to clothesline a running child. Hotels like the Wynn and Bellagio are relatively small properties with great food, shopping and entertainment options right on property. But if you’re looking for the ultimate retreat, Vdara is a quiet and classy place for some R&R.
Where to Eat
In your 50s: There are plenty of places to be part of the hip dining scene in Vegas. But let’s do it in style, shall we? You can get a good meal from lots of restaurants, but you want a unique experience that will only intensify your Vegas experience. You’ll be amazed by the intense Strip views at Rivea in the Delano, the street-side tables on the patio of Morel’s inside the Palazzo and the super swanky dining and shopping experience at Beauty & Essex at The Cosmopolitan.
In your 60s: You’re not about a fussy lifestyle and you’d rather have good food without the stuffy atmosphere. This town is known for its extreme buffets and there’s a good chance you’ll eat at two or eight while you’re here. If you want to spend as little cash as possible, the Main Street Station’s Garden Court Buffet starts at $7.99 for breakfast and $14.99 for the Prime Rib and Scampi Special. And if buffets aren’t your thing, you’ll enjoy the comfort food revolution happening in Downtown Las Vegas.
In your 70s: Remember when you paid less attention to things like your blood pressure and cholesterol? Well, you’re a lot wiser these days and know that fueling your body with good food is important. You know what else is important? Service. You’ve put in your time and earned the right to be taken care of by sincere and knowledgeable staff. You’ll have the most dietary-friendly options at the buffets and the hotel cafes. But if you want a classic Vegas experience, try Piero’s, a Sin City staple with ties to some of our most infamous mobsters. Songstress Pia Zadora still stops in from time to time to entertain the diners.
What to Do
In your 50s: This is what you’ve been waiting for – a reason to drag those acid-wash jeans out of the black hole in your closet. If you can sing every last lyric of “Smokin in the Boys Room,” you’re going to love rocking out to Rock of Ages. Fancy a round of golf? We’ve got you covered (just don’t forget to change out of those Z Cavaricci’s). The truth is, Vegas is your oyster and you can see all the attractions or go on all the tours you’d like.
In your 60s: You grew up with musical trail blazers like Elton John, Lionel Richie, Rod Stewart and America’s sweetheart, Olivia Newton-John. Well guess what? They’ve all got residencies in Vegas. Looking for something to do in the daytime? You can take a tour of Wayne Newton’s home or check out the Bellagio Conservatory. Madame Tussauds is a great place to get weird with your favorite celebrity wax figures. Your grandkids are going to regret the day they taught you how to post pictures on Facebook.
In your 70s: Throw caution to the wind and put a $20 in that slot machine. Don’t worry, nobody else knows what the different lines and combos mean either. But you won’t have any trouble recognizing when you’ve won. Early to bed, early to rise… thankfully, there are quite a few afternoon shows for you to choose from. But if you’re a night owl, you can relieve the glory days – when music was so good it would reach right into your chest and wrap itself around your heart. You’ll love Human Nature, Million Dollar Quartet and The Rat Pack is Back.
Where to Party
In your 50s: You don’t have the patience to wait in line at a nightclub, but you’d enjoy a bartender who could really shake up a mean cocktail or two. You’ll love the Alibi Ultra Lounge, the Mandarin Bar and the Skyfall Lounge. And hell, if you do decide to step foot in a club (especially after you realize that Tiesto is bringing down the house at 47 years young), check out Hyde at the Bellagio or Foundation Room at Mandalay Bay.
In your 60s: You don’t mind blowing the dust off those dancing shoes if the spirit moves you, and there’s one place in town where everybody fits in. The Fremont Street Experience is home to the ultimate block party, with three concert stages and live entertainment nightly. Your fellow partygoers will be functioning at various levels of sobriety, so this is some of the best people watching you’ll do in Vegas – or anywhere for that matter. Now, get out there and show us how it’s done with your smooth electric slide.
In your 70s: A nice atmosphere makes all the difference, and it’s even better if it’s close to your hotel room. You want to enjoy yourself without putting in a whole lot of effort to do so. How about a nice piano lounge where you can sit in a plush chair and watch Vegas whiz by while you relax and float away with the melody? You could spend hours listening to the pianos at Petrossian Bar in the Bellagio or Napoleon’s Lounge at Paris, or relax on the patio by the fire pits at Vice Versa inside the Vdara. Want to sing karaoke in one Vegas’ oldest dive bars? Make sure to check out Dino’s.